dksm: (Asshat)
When you are approaching a bright red car on a clear sunny day and it has its brake lights on and a left hand turn signal flickering.  You should STOP.  You should NOT slam into said car at full 50 mph force.  In fact, I think they teach you that in driver's education.  You did go to driver's education, didn't you?

After the above situation occurs, you should NOT approach red car's driver that your massive SUV spun 360 degrees into the southbound lane (very luckily avoiding slamming into on coming traffic) and start saying that you "just wanted to get home and hadn't felt well."  Red car's driver (me, in case you were wondering) will not care.  She will be more worried about the fact that her car is now missing its back end and that she slammed her head on the seat at 50 mph.  Not to mention the almost dying aspect.  She also will think that your explanation is really code for "I was talking on the cell phone and in a rush to get home to text Mary about Bobby's attempt to make it third base."  Because seriously: HOW DO YOU FUCKING MISS A BRIGHT RED CAR DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU THAT HAS BEEN STOPPED FOR MINUTES, NOT SECONDS, MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN YOU MISS IT SO BADLY THAT YOU RAM DIRECTLY INTO THE BACK OF IT WITHOUT TRYING TO SWERVE OR TO BRAKE?  FOR GOD SAKE'S HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem...anyway.  Lastly, you should never, and I mean never decide that after the police have arrived and the fire department and the EMTs and your parents, that it is a good time to throw a tantrum.  An honest to god tantrum complete with banging on your car with you fists (and spraining a wrist in the process) and screaming at the top of your lungs...screaming profanities at the top of your lungs.  Seriously, have a little bit of dignity.

Seriously what is wrong with people?  I knew I couldn't stand 75% of high school girls for a reason.  They should up the driving age to 18 or maybe 21. 
dksm: (Seriously?)
Ditsy high schooler's monstrous ford explorer: 1

My poor Ford focus: 0 x 1000

Good news: I'm alive.

Bad news my car is not...in fact the entire back end of it is in the back seat. 

More explanation to come.....

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dksm

July 2012

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