Dear American Dining Public
May. 15th, 2007 12:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dksm1. Your server is not a babysitter nor is she/he target practice for your kid's sugar packet projectile. Please watch your child yourself. You can do it. You had it, you're responsible for it.
2. If your kid is little and doesn't realize that he/she is grinding mac and cheese/fries/grilled chese in to the carpet you need to pick some of it up. See #1.
3. Never ask for crackers for your child from your server. See #2.
4. If you cannot afford to tip your server AT LEAST 15% you cannot afford to go out to dinner and therefore should stay home. Your server pretty much gets paid in tips. All that 2 dollars an hour he/she is paid by the company goes towards taxes/insurance/uniforms. Leaving a dollar on forty dollars is NOT acceptable. If you come back to the restaurant on numerous occassions with that kind of tip expect to get crappy service for your crappy tips.
5. If your server has like five things in their hands headed for a different table, do not stop them and rattle off a laundry list of stuff you want them to do. It is okay to ask to speak to them when they are done. Your server will not drop all six plates they are holding on the ground just to go get you your tenth glass of water. You are not the ONLY customer in the place.
6. Know what your server looks like. Just because a person has on glasses does not mean that they are automatically your server. Yes, that server has glasses but seeing as she is blonde and tall and the person that waited on you was short and a brunette means THEY ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON!!!!
7. If you combine #5 with #6 you may a possible server meltdown on your hands and hostages could be taken.
8. If it is an hour after the restaurant closes and you have finished your food three hours before and the servers/managment/kitchen staff is standing at the back of the restaurant glaring at you, it is time to get the fuck out.
9. If you can tell that there is an obvious crowd of people waiting to get a seat in the restaurant, the polite thing to do would be leave after you are finished with your meal...not after an hour of gossiping and another hour of a nap in your chair.
10. It is not your server's fault that you had to wait an hour to get a table in the restaurant. Nor is it their fault if your party of 30 has to be split between tables. Go someplace that has reservations if you cannot have patience.
11. Your server is more than likely not a complete and utter idiot. Therefore you do not need to speak in slow simple sentences like they are a toddler. More than likely most of servers you encounter are in college and may even be pursuing advanced degrees. Many of them are *gasp* more educated than YOU! If you speak to them like a toddler they are likely to speak to you the same way and treat you like one as well.
12. Your server is usually happy to go the extra mile for you. If they do more they are often rewarded for it by a bigger tip. However, this does not apply in two situations. 1) They've done something extra for you in the past and you did not tip well or even decent. If you want the server to help you celebrate a special occassion or to get extra plates and forks for a cake, they are more likely to be nice about if you did not do #4 the week before.
2) A server will not give you special treatment if you are a complete dick to them before hand. Case in point. The restaurant is giving out $5 coupons, 1 per table for mother's day. You tell the server that you have two mothers at the table so can you please have 2 coupons. Your server, whom you have been rude to and barely acknowledged up until this point will probably tell you sorry but company policy says one per table and then they will turn around and give two to the table next to you....and that table is just two college-aged guys.
13. Show your manners. Chew with your mouth shut, don't scream, don't burp, don't leave your area a complete pig sty. Your momma taught you better.
14. SAY THANK YOU TO THE SERVER!
2. If your kid is little and doesn't realize that he/she is grinding mac and cheese/fries/grilled chese in to the carpet you need to pick some of it up. See #1.
3. Never ask for crackers for your child from your server. See #2.
4. If you cannot afford to tip your server AT LEAST 15% you cannot afford to go out to dinner and therefore should stay home. Your server pretty much gets paid in tips. All that 2 dollars an hour he/she is paid by the company goes towards taxes/insurance/uniforms. Leaving a dollar on forty dollars is NOT acceptable. If you come back to the restaurant on numerous occassions with that kind of tip expect to get crappy service for your crappy tips.
5. If your server has like five things in their hands headed for a different table, do not stop them and rattle off a laundry list of stuff you want them to do. It is okay to ask to speak to them when they are done. Your server will not drop all six plates they are holding on the ground just to go get you your tenth glass of water. You are not the ONLY customer in the place.
6. Know what your server looks like. Just because a person has on glasses does not mean that they are automatically your server. Yes, that server has glasses but seeing as she is blonde and tall and the person that waited on you was short and a brunette means THEY ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON!!!!
7. If you combine #5 with #6 you may a possible server meltdown on your hands and hostages could be taken.
8. If it is an hour after the restaurant closes and you have finished your food three hours before and the servers/managment/kitchen staff is standing at the back of the restaurant glaring at you, it is time to get the fuck out.
9. If you can tell that there is an obvious crowd of people waiting to get a seat in the restaurant, the polite thing to do would be leave after you are finished with your meal...not after an hour of gossiping and another hour of a nap in your chair.
10. It is not your server's fault that you had to wait an hour to get a table in the restaurant. Nor is it their fault if your party of 30 has to be split between tables. Go someplace that has reservations if you cannot have patience.
11. Your server is more than likely not a complete and utter idiot. Therefore you do not need to speak in slow simple sentences like they are a toddler. More than likely most of servers you encounter are in college and may even be pursuing advanced degrees. Many of them are *gasp* more educated than YOU! If you speak to them like a toddler they are likely to speak to you the same way and treat you like one as well.
12. Your server is usually happy to go the extra mile for you. If they do more they are often rewarded for it by a bigger tip. However, this does not apply in two situations. 1) They've done something extra for you in the past and you did not tip well or even decent. If you want the server to help you celebrate a special occassion or to get extra plates and forks for a cake, they are more likely to be nice about if you did not do #4 the week before.
2) A server will not give you special treatment if you are a complete dick to them before hand. Case in point. The restaurant is giving out $5 coupons, 1 per table for mother's day. You tell the server that you have two mothers at the table so can you please have 2 coupons. Your server, whom you have been rude to and barely acknowledged up until this point will probably tell you sorry but company policy says one per table and then they will turn around and give two to the table next to you....and that table is just two college-aged guys.
13. Show your manners. Chew with your mouth shut, don't scream, don't burp, don't leave your area a complete pig sty. Your momma taught you better.
14. SAY THANK YOU TO THE SERVER!
